The Laughter Expansion

One of the best parts of my job is teaching sex ed. No, really, it is. Every year I teach it, I end up with new and hilarious stories to tell.

The best year, so far, has to be when I was team teaching the course with the only male teacher in the school. One of us was very easily embarrassed, and it wasn't me. Me being who I am, and him being more than a little obnoxious, that meant that any chance I had to ramp up the embarrassment factor for him, I did. This included prompting the students to load the question box with the strangest questions they could come up with. The questions they came up with ranged from "If I lose a ball in a freak ball losing incident, can I still have kids?" to "I sometimes wake up with an erection. Is this normal for a girl?"and "Does 'blue balls' refer to the colour of the balls, or their emotional state?".

While they were all amusing, there was one question in particular that stood out. It read "What is the average speed/velocity of ejaculation?" Not having this information at hand, I did some research and actually found an answer. So, class came around again and we were answering all the questions in the question jar; the whole class was killing themselves laughing by the time we got to "What is the average speed/velocity of ejaculation?". Very calmly, I told them 45 km/h. One student, Ryan, looked up, almost startled, and said "That's speeding in a school zone!". Well, everyone burst out laughing. Anne, ever patient, looked at Ryan and told him "You don't have to do it in a school zone". Class was called at that point, due to excessive laughter.

This wasn't the only time Ryan was the source of great amusement during sex.ed. There was one word, no matter how hard he tried, he could never say with a straight face. Nipple. He tried, I'll give him that. I can recall whole half hours at a time where he did nothing by try and say the word "Nipple" without laughing. Sometimes he made it all the way through, and then burst out laughing, most of the time he would hit the 'p' and then lose it. One day, two years after he had finished sex.ed, Ryan stopped by the school. He walked up to my classroom door, said "Hey Tara!" and when I looked over he simply said "Nipple". And stood there, trying to contain himself. It worked, for about 20 seconds. And then came the laughter.

Life Lesson: Sex Ed = Hilarious! (What, they don't all have to be deep.)