One day, after returning from a weekend in Edmonton, a student and I got into a discussion on how to get rid of people who come to your door, trying to convert you. How did we get onto this topic? Over the weekend, I had answered the door to my parent's place and, standing there, were two eager individuals, waiting to save my immortal soul. However, they took one look at me, excused themselves, and left. Why, you may ask? It may have had something to do with the fact that I was wearing a shirt that read "Evil Mutant Science Teacher."
So, back at school, I was telling my students this story, expressing my pleasure in how effective the shirt was for warding off unwanted evangelizers. That's when Anne proposed another method for getting rid of them: using the Force. Simple enough. "You don't want to convert me. You want to go convert someone else." (Obi Wan voice and hand actions included, of course).
My next suggestion was to keep a physics textbook next to the door and before they got going say "Wait! First, a reading from my bible. The book of Einstein, chapter 4, verse 2: And Einstein sayeth 'e=mc2'."
Anne then told me about her dad's preferred method: open the door, and before they can say anything you say "Did you know that God is a girl and his name is Eros? Well God is a girl and his name is Eros. Do you have faith? All is lost without faith. I sure feel sorry for you if you don't have faith!"
However, I will say that the prize for best way to handle door-to-door converters goes to Pamela, who, instead of turning them away, agrees to listen as long as they do her housework. Well played!
Life Lesson: There is always a beneficial solution to a problem. You just have to get a little creative.
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